I wasn’t always this way. I used to sneer at Bob Evans, preferring my local breakfast joints to the crass commercialism (and blandness) of the national restaurant chain. It’s not that I’d never eaten at Bob Evans, it’s that I’d eaten there and I decided I could do better.
But just recently, I went to a Bob Evans again for the first time in several years and … well, I really enjoyed what I had. It was just a simple eggs/bacon/taters/flapjacks meal but it was completely perfect. Eggs just right, potatoes crispy without being crunchy/burned, flapjacks fluffy with a hint of vanilla. Even the coffee was exactly how I like it.
So the next weekend, I went again, this time venturing into the inventive regions of the menu. I had a Border Scramble Biscuit Bowl, which basically means spicy peppers and sausage with eggs and potatoes and stuff laid into an edible biscuit bowl. I also split an order of Apple Pie Fries, which are little chunks of ACTUAL apple pie, complete with crust, somehow enveloped in batter, deep fried and sprinkled with powdered sugar, served with a little ramekin of melty caramel sauce. HEAVEN. I wouldn’t have thought to do that in a million years and yet, Bob Evans did. From beyond the grave. Just kidding. I’m sure it was in his secret portfolios to be opened 20 years after his death.